Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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