i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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