Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
