i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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