'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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