kristin has been a bad kristin
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
