Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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