His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
