Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
