we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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