I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The power of my boobs compel you
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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