rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
