im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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