i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we made out on top of his cat.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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