ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
