I heard we made out
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
