did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
