Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
