Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
