I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
