I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
