I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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