Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
