Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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