is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
