i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
