Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
