I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
