omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
