Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
