I want to have your abortion
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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