I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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