That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
