Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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