we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Oh god it's open bar.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
