is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
