i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
