i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize