The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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