I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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