as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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