I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
