And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
