Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The best revenge is premature balding
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
