I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
