I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
