P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
