My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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