At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
