I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
