I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
